Recently, Eloise was diagnosed with scoliosis and was told that for about one year, she would have to wear a cumbersome brace for eighteen hours a day. Once fitted for the brace, it turned out to be more than she or her parents anticipated, covering the upper and lower areas of the spine, back to front. Eloise, like any thirteen-year-old was devastated. Besides the discomfort of the brace, she would have to wear clothes to school that will cover the brace. How would she play sports? Would her classmates make fun of her?

Like many thirteen-year-olds, Eloise has had her share of trials and tribulations. Last April, she fell and knocked out her front tooth right down to the root, requiring her to wear braces in the hopes that the makeshift replacement would somehow attach itself to the scrap of enamel remaining on her jawbone (the verdict isn’t in as yet).

The teenage years come with their share of difficulties. They are the years of trial and error as children stumble along in their attempt to find a comfort zone within the myriad of academic and social challenges they face each day. Like many of her contemporaries, Eloise has come to rely upon the internet as a social newspaper. And, like many of her peers, social media has served to heighten her awareness of social-exclusion. It was through her easy access to social media that Eloise became aware that she was being excluded from the activities of her friends. How would she cope with one more disappointment at this crucial time in her life?

When I think back to all that Eloise has been through these past several months, I marvel at her resilience as she faced each hardship. Sure, she cried and felt the pangs of hurt but, through the support of her family, she mustered up the strength to adapt to a cumbersome brace, make new friends, and move forward. Eloise is fortunate. She has a mother and father who listen objectively to her problems and offer sound advice for meeting and overcoming each crisis. When offering advice, their love for their daughter does not interfere with their objectivity, an important component of parenting when offering advice.

As any grandparent knows, when a grandchild goes through muddy waters, the mud of those waters spills onto a grandparent’s face as well. Having become aware of Eloise’s times of turmoil, my husband wanted to let her know how he admired her ability to successfully navigate through the hurdles that came her way. Richard decided that an “Eloise-Poopah Breakfast” would be the perfect venue to have a private conversation.

While relaxed at breakfast, Richard shared many of his personal stories about the difficulties he faced at a young age and how he, with the support of loved ones, managed to overcome them. He told her how he admired her grit and resilience as she overcame the many obstacles that were thrown her way during the past year. Finally, Richard gave Eloise a tiny ceramic turtle that she could hold in her hand as a future reminder of their conversation about her grit and resilience. 

Eloise will face many more challenges as she goes through the “turbulent teens,” but she now has a tiny turtle, given to her by her loving grandfather, to serve as a reminder of how she can face and overcome these challenges.