As I proudly witness the growth of my two granddaughters, one a teenager and the other almost there, I can’t help but reflect upon past years when technology had a limited affect upon their lives: the halcyon days of game-playing, outdoor nature walks, and animated conversations describing the things they’d like to do and things they’d done. I witnessed their tears of joy when they received their first iPhones and how they immediately set about texting their friends. However, I have also witnessed their dependency upon knowing what their friends were doing at any given time of the day, times when they’d anxiously pick up their phones to see if they were a part of, or apart from the social activities that brought their peers together. Either way, their need to know, puts the iPhone in charge of their lives and that is a monumental concern facing today’s families.

In today’s busy world, where iPhones, instant messaging, and a variety of technological distractions are a part of our daily lives, both parents and children have become addicted to devices. The list of computer-generated “stuff” is unending. After a busy day at work/school, the various technological devices serve as a panacea for our busy lives. We can easily send messages to friends and family, and view their latest postings. We can relax over a game of solitaire, read recipes, and keep abreast of the latest news. The benefits of using devices as a means of communication and escapism are oftentimes irresistible. So, if there are so many benefits, why are several parents of teenagers lamenting over their ubiquitous use of these devices by their children?

When I see children engaged with a “device,” I think of all that is lost by time spent away from more meaningful activities, activities such as playing interactive games and getting out of doors where they can observe the sights and sounds of nature. Instead, they spend inordinate amounts of time “communicating” with a faceless machine that offers little opportunity for developing the social skills that are necessary for effective interaction as they go through the emotional rollercoaster called life.

As much as technology offers work/study alternatives, its ready availability and “user-friendly programs” (now that’s a term I haven’t used since my teaching days) make it an easy refuge from having to cope with decision making. If we are looking for a diversion, we can simply pick up our phones and view what our friends are posting.

Recipients of messages sent over the Internet can sometimes misconstrue the intentions of the sender. Voice intonation, facial expression, body language, are key components to conveying meaning. When the importance of technology supersedes the benefits derived from face-to-face interaction it becomes a danger to effective communication. The ability to collect our thoughts and use descriptive, meaningful vocabulary to convey our ideas is a skill that needs to be honed from the day we are born until the day we cease to be.

For several years, I played the game of 500 Rummy with a dear friend of mine whenever we visited each other’s homes. As we laughed and played, we would converse about our families, our hobbies, our plans, and provide each other with encouragement when needed. Winning or losing was not the primary objective of the game. The game provided a milieu for catching up on each other’s lives in a relaxed setting. I have since taught my granddaughters how to play the game I once shared with my friend and, once again, the verbal interaction and laughter make us all winners.

I believe that developing into sensitive, caring adults is one of the byproducts of game playing. Watching a child’s reaction to winning, as well as losing, offers opportunities for developing good sportsmanship. Listening to and commenting upon a child’s day in the relaxed setting that games provide, enables a grownup to share childhood experiences of their own and, at the same time, teach coping skills for handling any unpleasant situations.

Technology has become and will continue to be a major part of our daily lives. The question is how to find a balance between time spent on devices and time spent on interpersonal communication. I believe one solution lies in setting aside time, both in school and at home, for playing games with children. It’s amazing how much you can learn about a child’s state of mind through the relaxed setting that game playing offers.