I had always prided myself on my ability to bring new and exciting activities to my granddaughters whenever I had the opportunity to share their time. Their joy and laughter as we would play games, explore nature, and create our “works of art,” made every visit memorable. Now, as a grandparent to two teenagers, the activities that I plan seem to fall short of the anticipated outcomes, leaving me wondering how to rekindle their enthusiasm. I shared my thoughts with my daughter during one of our usual morning phone calls.

Me: I’ve been thinking about my last visit and how I felt badly that Eloise spent so much time on her iPhone. After the usual questions about school, sports and her social life, I asked her if she wanted to play a game, to which she replied, “Maybe later.”  So, I just sat next to her, with my arm around her, waiting for the “maybe later” time to arrive.

Nancy:  Mom, Eloise is a teenager and teenagers are in a world all their own. At times, I don’t even know how to relate to my teenaged daughters.

Me: Well, I was thinking about bringing a whole bunch of odds and ends and having May and Eloise create Halloween masks, or make crazy hats. You know, some fun activities for this Halloween season, activities that they liked doing in the past.

Nancy: (Silence)

Me: Not a good idea?

Nancy; (Laughter) Mom, don’t bring anything. It won’t work. They are beyond the age of marching around the house in crazy hats or weird masks. You and I are great with planning activities for children ages 4-10, that’s where our teaching experience with children begins and ends. No offence.

Me: (Laughing) Yeah, I guess I am locked in a different time zone. I’ll think of something.

Nancy: No need to think too hard. They both love to cook. Why don’t you buy some of those “spongy” pastry shells, along with berries, ice cream, and heavy cream, and let them create a dessert that we can have after dinner.

Me: Maybe. I’ll think about it.

After I ended my conversation with Nancy, I realized that no one knows their children better than their parents. I thought back to my teaching days and how I would always ask the parents to fill out a questionnaire so that I would be  better able to meet the needs of my students.  Why wouldn’t I follow the advice of my own daughter? Although her suggestions were not in keeping with the kind of creativity I had in mind, I had to face the fact that my former way of entertaining my granddaughters was becoming outdated as they advance through the years. I was locked in a time warp. It was time to update my play book. We’d make dessert, and follow it with a game of 500 Rummy, Skattegories, or Monopoly-same warm, love-filled, feeling of togetherness as in the past, just an updated approach.

So, I put away the tubes I held onto from the toilet and paper toweling rolls, the markers, glue, scissors, construction paper, paper bags, and the colorful, card-stock. Perhaps some of my friends in Florida would be interested in joining me for some Halloween mask-making or hat-making upon my return. Regression is often good for the soul.